Monday, 31 May 2010

Blog - "On Nudity"

I have quite a few strange penchants and quirks. One of them, which honestly isn't that odd or surprising, is that I quite like being naked.

At some point during our relationship, girly 3 said to a friend: "If there weren't other people in the house - we'd be nudists."

This was somewhat true, but for a few exceptions. She was always naked when she was at home, which was practically constant. Personally, I had to go to work, so I spent the vast majority of my time clothed. Due to this, getting out of the annoying royal blue uniform was an important part of my daily ritual. When we first got together, I had something of a nightly ritual where I would personally strip said girly off and then we would cuddle to sleep.

I really like the point where I get to take somebody's clothes off. It's the promise and the anticipation.

But she was naked so much that I simply never got the chance anymore. It made the whole excitement over my girlfriend's naked body vanish completely. I was more annoyed by it.

Then, she had this habit of falling asleep in somebody else's bed, and suddenly becoming naked. She wouldn't even be aware of this; it happened in her sleep. Still, it was strange.

One of the first things I did when she'd left, after I realised she was gone and completely freaked out, was go through the clothes that she'd left here in the attempt to decide that I should send them all back. I didn't want to keep any, but I knew that I was about to become very lonely, so I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't really want to let them go. With girly 1, I kept a few because the smell was a reminder of the comforting hugs I used to get fairly rarely. Unfortunately, with girly 3, there was no smell. She barely wore anything.

Since then, this whole nudity urge has vanished more than a little. I feel as though I've changed, and I don't like it, but there you go.

Still miss her.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Lyrics - Sin "One: Recollections"

Do you remember how it used to be?
Partners in crime, against crime.
Just you and me, chasing the evils…
…Of the world.
I miss the times that we have shared.
They were the best times of my life.
After all that we have done together…
…I have no regrets.

I must admit I miss the times we shared.
Together, you and I, against the world.
But times are so very different now…
…It’s all gone wrong.
I had to chase you for your crime.
Do I regret it? I couldn’t say.
I only came to say goodbye.
What I remember most…
…Is your pride.

What’s happening?

Convict B
The ground’s shaking!

Convict A
Let us out, we’re under attack!

Rigby! Let me out!

You can help him.

I can help you!

Pride / Envy / Greed / Wrath / Sloth / Gluttony / Lechery (m / f)
This is your last chance!

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Blog - "Musical Intrigue."

There's a lot that's been going on recently. I have a meeting to present my action plan (which needs typing up tonight) to the festival committee tomorrow and, as nervous as I am, I am also quite excited about it. 

I'm also going to be doing a lecture on psychology, starting with an introduction to the subconscious that is thus far tentatively scheduled for the eighth of June. It'll be over an internet radio station, but that makes very little odds to me. Not sure what I'll do yet.

I'm also writing a little biographical feature on Ronnie James Dio, similar to the one that I did about Ritchie Blackmore. Blackmore was the part of Rainbow that got me interested, but Dio was certainly the part that got me hooked. Stargazer is the embodiment of epic, even though my personal favourite has to be Catch The Rainbow. It makes me cry and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Music has a special place in my heart, even though I was a late bloomer to it. When I first started listening to music it was in the golden age of Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park. That was the most accessible music, and I didn't complain. Though I can't claim to truly enjoy Limp Bizkit, I'll still get up on to the dance floor at the Tache whenever One Step Closer comes on.

I went through lots of different phases. The discovery of Muse was quite an eye opener. I was drunk at the time, and urinating in a drain in a friend's back garden. He was in the kitchen, waiting his turn. He's also the same person to really get me interested in Deep Purple, which is where the Blackmore influence came in, and, not long after that, it was The Stone Roses. After that, college taught me a lot. Van Halen, Pink Floyd and Dream Theater all sort of settled into the backing of college for us. We even had some Dragonforce, and I enjoyed them for an album. Actually, I still like Soldiers Of The Wasteland, but listening to more than one Dragonforce is hazardous to your interest in them.

My next major influence was girly three. Girly one had tried, with moderate success, to get me into Yellowcard. Girly two had tried, with little success, to get me into My Chemical Romance. Girly three tried, with rampant success, to get me into Ayreon. Right now, they are still my major fix and it's three years on. By rights I should be bored of them completely, but I'm just not. They are my love.

Where is my music taste evolving towards? I don't know. I don't much care to be honest; I'm sold with Ayreon. I'd like to write that sort of thing, and I'm working on it, but everything takes time, you know?

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Blog - "Love vs Human Nature"

The concept of Love has always held something of a fascination with me. If you consider the concept of human nature, survival of the species and the male urge to impregnate as many women as possible or the female urge to be impregnated by men as quickly as possible, love becomes a misnomer; unnecessary figment of life, imagination and, as simply put as possible, unnatural.

That's likely alienated anybody who reads it, but if you stop and consider it, you'll see the logic. In the origins of humanity, as far as the dark ages, the concept of love was unheard of. In tribal society, you had an alpha male (selected by criteria that ensured the strength of his sperm) and an alpha female (selected by criteria of being able to give birth to men who were likely to have a high strength of sperm). After that, there were more members of the tribe. They didn't love and they didn't pair up. Sex was a constant in order to continue the tribe and thus strengthen it by providing greater numbers. The more children a woman had, the better. The more men had sex with her in as soon a time as possible, the more likely she was to get pregnant. That was tribal society. Eat, sleep, fuck; the three primary activities of humanity.

If you move on to medieval societies, you get a lot of stories about true love amongst tyranny and an increasingly hierarchical society. Most of these stories are obviously later created. As an example, look up the tales of Robin Hood or King Arthur. They all started somewhere, and there's only circumstantial evidence to suggest their reality. In truth, all historical information recorded, though some of this is also somewhat questionable, suggests that they were much closer to being tribal than they are to being at our current level of society. Did they love? Did they hell. Children were married off by parents in order to increase their financial or political standings. This isn't a bad thing; the parents were doing this to ensure the security of their children, but there was no question of love. You married who you were told to, and you gave them children in order to carry on their line. Sounds kind of like your typical native human society. Eat, sleep, fuck; the three primary activities of humanity.

So now we get to our current state of existence, where the primary focus of life is the search for love. Sex, formerly one of the primary activities of life designed entirely for the making of children, has become a designed expression of love, supposedly morally objectionable unless you have a deep connection with your partner. If I were to ask you why you think that this has happened, what might you say? This is what confuses me about love.

Where has it come from?

A friend of mine, some years ago, raised a point concerning homosexuality and human nature. If you consider gay men, the typical male urge to stick yourself into something and get off as quickly as possible (for the intention of moving on to your next partner) can still be examined, though I personally wouldn't examine it too deeply. For lesbian females, the urge to follow human nature seems to have dissolved completely. This confuses me.

Human nature is coded into our genes. Love is not. It could be relative of course, since love develops towards sex, which is one of your three primary activities of humanity. However, the amount of time that people spend, myself included, determined to discover and true and eternal love is rather a peculiar activity. Having spent so much time considering psychology and the human ability to defy their own genetic make-up, I still just don't get it.

What the hell is love, and why does everybody need it in their lives so much?

I'm determined to work it our eventually.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Lyrics - "Ambitions And Obsessions: Personal Herecy"

The second song for Ambitions and Obsessions is written up. It's another solo one for Toby, and is the main introduction of his character.

Ambitions And Obsessions
Track Two: Personal Herecy

I believe in fate
I believe in time
I believe but I don't know why.

I believe in truth
I believe in love
I believe in innocence.

I believe that cold expanse isn't quite as deep as it may seem.

I believe that in the mind of every person there's something obscene.

I believe in the future,
I believe that there's no need to repeat.
I believe that it's waiting for me.

I know what I want
I know what I need
I know what I live and breathe.

I know that I love
I know that I hate
I know that you can relate

I know how life is laid out before me.

I know which path to follow of those that I see.

I know the future,
I know that there's no need to repeat.
I know that it's waiting for me.

I believe in the future,
I believe in following my brain.
I believe in myself,
And what I could be.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Lyrics - "Ambitions and Obsessions: Taste"

About twenty minutes ago, I started putting together a weird little musical story. I have the main characters and an introduction song so far, so I thought I'd put it on here should anybody enjoy it.

Ambitions And Obsessions
Track One: Taste

I see everything,
I know your hopes and fears,
Even all that you hide,

I can feel anything,
Your secrets and your lies,
I witness erotic little thoughts,
Just behind your eyes.

It seems that the world was only made around you.
Ocean blue is flattering to your eyes.
It seems that the world was made to surround you.
Encapsulating, mesmerising, setting all our hearts on fire.

I came here just to see here,
I'd bow to your will,
I follow your command,
Or the simplest wave of your hand.

I know what I'm going to do,
I see it in my mind,
The things that we could achieve,
If I just slide into your life.

It seems that the world was only made around you.
The yellow sand is flattering to your skin.
It seems that I was made to embrace you,
All you have to do is let me in.

I feel alive again,
I feel welcome around you,
I feel joy again,
I feel a warmth around you.

I have a need inside me,
Something that you can fill.
I can taste the air around you
It's sweetened by your very will.

Friday, 14 May 2010

Blog - "Employments And Occupations".

Today has been a nice round out to the uphill struggle that has been my week. We ran out of clients at work, so we all buggered off home over two hours earlier than expected.

My occupation is writing. That's my thing. That's what I do. I've been doing it for over fifteen years now, and I have never been happier than the moment I first received payment for it, and thus entered the leagues of the Professional Writer(thank you Max Sidorenko and Andrew Apanov). It doesn't even matter to me if people are impressed by it, though happily most are, I'm just going to tell you anyway. 

I always wanted to pursue it professionally, and, though I definitely made the leap into it myself, I would not have gotten far without the help of my partner at the time(thank you Amy Duxbury). She did me a whole heap of favours because writing was a shared interest. 

Since then, a lot has changed for me.

At the time, Writing was my occupation, but my job was still your average teenage Sales Assistant. This was no big deal really, as I quite liked my job. Unfortunately, my job didn't much like me. Due to having to support the third girlfriend, who had a previously broken spine which made job hunting gruelling at best, I got a little desperate to advance upwards in the company, and became unpopular because, when the job opening came, I went for it. I didn't actually get it, because I was unpopular, because people knew I was going for it. I was likely unpopular for other reasons too, but I'm still fairly oblivious to them. Eventually, I was fired due to arson. 

Yes, arson.

No, I didn't, but they certainly had their reasons. It was a bad day to say the least. May 1st in fact - I didn't even realised I'd finally lapped it.

From there I had a large period of unemployment, which resulted in boredom, which resulted in more writing. I also got involved with a festival planning committee. For a little while I was an Treasurer, an International Promoter and also Secretary for said committee. I was also acting as a Sponsor Liaison. It was a big job, and actually a lot of fun to make happen. It's one of those life experiences that you plan and you plan and you plan, but you really don't mind when it all falls apart because you're too busy enjoying yourself. People liked me then. They would shake my hand and tell me that it was a pleasure to meet me. It was nice, and rare.

Over Christmas I worked as a Sampling Colleague, which basically means advertising stuff by giving it away from free. Unfortunately, for my area, the credit card I was supposed to use was stolen, so we had no stock to give away. Many slow days passed of walking around talking to people, mostly other staff. It actually earned me quite a lot of money, and ensured a Merry Christmas indeed, despite Ricky's vomit. That job didn't last long, but I got what I needed out of it.

I was only unemployed for a month or so before I landed by current job, which would be as an Administrator. Now, this doesn't sound glamorous, but if I can put this into perspective: I love paper. I love everything from the feel of it to the taste of it, but most of all I love defiling a crisp white piece of paper by filling it with something eminently masterful, and also gripping in how it is laid out. I can sit and do paperwork all day every day. Getting paid for it is a welcome bonus.

And, last week, I renewed the International Promoter role for a festival called Tommyfest. I'm waiting to tell people all about it, then I can count how many people think it's named after me and that I set it up myself for that purpose.

Sometimes, when I look back on my life, I don't feel as though I've done much, but I've only been available to work for just under four years, and I've done all this. It cheers me up a little.

Tom Colohue

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Blog - "Dead End Stations"

I've spent a lot of time travelling around the UK. Well, England actually, seeing as I've never gone north of the border, and the only alternative then is Wales, and that just isn't happening. Amongst my list of locations, we have central locations like Halifax, Lincoln and York, and they're nice enough. In fact, Lincoln is easily one of my favourite places because of the hulking great castle. I quite like castles. I've also been to Lancaster, though I haven't been to the castle yet, which disappoints me.

I've also been to a lot of dead end stations. Now, I'm not actually a fan of dead end stations, but mostly because I've always lived at one. Originally it was Hull, which has a gigantic river behind it. Now it's Blackpool, which, despite having three main stations and several small ones, has every single train going straight through Preston.

Went to Preston once. Quaint place; no castle.

Other than castles, most of my travels have been in the pursuit of the female flesh, though I never went as far as Mexico as I had hoped to do with girlie one. Girlie three was the main one. I went all the way to Peterborough (for pizza) then on to St. Neots for her. Lot of pubs there, but I didn't actually go in any. I regret this now. I took a jaunt to Cambridge at this time, though I only got a real feel for the place later on. I also went to London for the first time for this woman, which turned out to be unecessary, but in no way a waste of time. We defiled a bar called Molly O' Grady's above the Victoria Station.

If you go there, think of me. Try to do it in technicolour, as white will not be your friend on such an occasion. If they'd have had a castle, I would have used the dungeon in a heartbeat for the exact same purpose.

Girlie four was another excuse to travel, this time wandering over to Liverpool. This is one of the few stations where I haven't painted the floors as the result of a close encounter with a girlie in the bathrooms. I'd never been there, and it turned out to be much more of a student town anyway, but I somewhat enjoyed it, except on the buses. That was a bit of a dead end station though. I switched on the wrong train from there at one point and got extremely lost, but that's alright. Once I'm found again, I enjoy myself.

I'm not sure where I'll go next; perhaps Manchester. We'll see where the new promotions job takes me, but I have spent a lot of time, sitting in train stations, scribbling away in one of my many notepads. Some great stuff turns up in there, but there's also the usual abundance of crap that comes out of any writers head. 

You need to clear out the junk to make room for the good stuff after all.

Poem - "Bliss"

Sleep in the cold,
Sleep without knowing
Your heart isn’t growing
It’s caged and forlorn.

Years have passed here,
And needless to say
That each brand new day
Brings the same new faces.

Hope is still here,
It’s fighting for grip
With each fingertip
But it’s clawing at nothing.

Embrace the night,
Hold to your slumber
Abandon the wonder
That comes with sunlight.

Home is around you,
It’s blissfully cold
As you are not bold
And so you remain.

You are not broken,
You feel no pain
But you must restrain
The begging reprieve.

All is not lost,
For all is around you
Joy has now found you
Enveloping quietly.

There is no torment,
There is no shame
There is no light
There is no pain.

Blog - "Introductions And Necessary Meanings"

I've been thinking about this for a while now, but I think now might be the best time to actually get started.

Hello. This is Tom Colohue. Welcome to my Mental Streaming.

I write about thirty-five thousand words a week. A good thirty percent of this goes into either published works, or works that will (hopefully) eventually be published. The rest is hidden away in files, folders and boxes. Sometimes it's lost to the ravages of time, red bull stains, or, most often, my delete button. Most of it is pointless, plenty of it is rubbish, and some of it is just plain wrong and should never be viewed by anybody. I'm hoping to sieve through all of that and perhaps present you with something that might be a little bit worth reading. It might be some crazy, random stuff, but surely that's part of the fun.

I'm also planning on linking to my articles as and when they are published, so this will literally be home for me for a little while. If you're interested in new stuff, sneak previews or updates, this will be the place to be. It might be a little erratic, but so am I, so no complaints really.

The address will be sliding its way to the bottom of most of my articles, so it should be popping up all over the place if I'm any good at my job. I welcome anybody with an open mind and a will to read. It would be awesome to have fans, but I'm really not that self-righteous.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope I keep this up enough to give you something worth reading.

Thanks in advance,

Tom Colohue