Blog - "Dukes And Writers"

Hello people,

There have been a lot of things going on for me over the last week, to a level of huge magnitude for me personally, because I've been spending my days up at the Dukes Playhouse in Lancaster.

Let me first start off with a complaint. Buses suck. In all ways buses suck.

Moving on, this last week could well be the highlight of my year.

I did, at one point, consider writing a play, and a musical. There's a lot of ideas I've had that I've been very much looking forward to pitching, but I was given so much advice that I completely forgot to pitch at all. They gave me a little insight into everything. I was doing press, marketing, rehearsals, direction, stage management and more, but that's not what I wanted to take away from it.

Even when I was sitting at the bar watching somebody prepare my dinner, that person had something to teach me. The woman in Box Office had a lot to teach too. Everybody did. It was as though everybody had something creative to mention or was an artist in the making. It was the only place I've ever known where people aren't actually there for the money, but were there because they love the work. Even at the lowest rung of the ladder there was hope, and people there had so much to offer.

I will say that I was only there for four days, and it was over two hours there and two hours back, so I didn't have that much time to spend there. That was the worst part, because I could live and work there on minimum wage for the rest of my life and never want for more. I've worked with some people who happily spend absolutely no time pursuing their job beyond getting paid. At the Dukes, everything is different. It's about creating something.

I've never felt more at home, and now I'm back in Blackpool, in the same old house and waiting for a new job to clear my CRB so that I can fill up my time a little.

Still, I'm less bored than I was because I'm working ever so slightly harder.

I have a play to write.

Blog - "Musical In Nature"

Hello there readers, my apologies for my absences of late.

As I'm sure has come across in my time writing on this blog, I always have something going on. Of late, I've been networking with a theatre in Lancaster called The Dukes Theatre. Next week, I'll be attending what is sort of a brief internship, usually reserved for those in the area. Not only is there going to be a range of given opportunities concerning stage management, as well as sound and lighting, but I'm also being given direct, in-depth lessons concerning writing and directing for the theatre.

I've also been given permission to make several pitches on potential plays/films that I might be able to entice the theatre into producing. That, for me, provides a very interesting concept. More as it develops there.

I met with a professional photographer concerning a showing as director of photography, should the pitches prove successful. I've already started talking with a potential sponsor, which would add to the appeal. I'm hopeful. Later in the month, pending a quick chat, I'll have a picture for you of hers that is almost an ideal showing of Ally from Disbelief. I could show you a perfect picture of Ally, but the woman I would want to model is unlikely to do it.

For those of you that follow my fiction on Ultimate-Guitar.com, I have a new series coming, and that's one of the reasons I opened by talking about the theatre. I've decided that, for the next fiction series, I'm going to aim more towards the tongue-in-cheek attitude from the original UG story rather than the more heavily dramatised stories such as Disbelief and Rock Stars. I've decided to write something that I'm planning to pitch.

The main concept is based around a musical. I intend to pitch something similar to this musical, and pitch a group of webisodes to be released, online and via the sponsor, which would be portraying it in a comical light in order to promote it. The fiction series would then be market research. It would be comprised of a collection of pieces detailing rehearsals and preparations of a musical.

You would have 'key characters', such as your standard lead. Honestly, I am thinking a little selfishly of making him the writer, who comes into the most random and madness-inducing place in the world. Then you'd have what I'm thinking should be a main actor/actress combo.

Then you get those characters that, instead of being particularly dramatic by nature, are rather just there to make things interesting. For example, I'm thinking of having a choreographer who also happens to be a bit of a martial arts nut. It's a simple touch, but if we push it to a nice extreme you get some interesting comedy value out of it.

Next Tuesday (not this Tuesday) is when I'm planning to have the first part ready, which would be an introduction to the concept. I'm thinking a big and intensely descriptive musical number.

I don't know. What do you think?

Blog - "One More For Disbelief"

Hello readers. I'm glad you're there.

Today I have spent the vast majority of the day sitting in my public library, where I can focus on work away from my laptop. It's not been pleasant. I'm not saying anything bad about the library, more the work itself, since today I've been looking for literary agents.

It's not been going well.

I thought I'd struck gold with the Association of Author Representatives, but no, they're all based in New York. It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realise that.

Disbelief has now been a work in progress for two years, and I've hit a roadblock so firm that I literally can not seem to get over it anymore. I've sent my work out to so many places, but the replies have all been so very similar. Disbelief is classified entirely as 'music'. People don't want to represent an author that writes about music.

There's so much more to it. The music is a vessel, a back drop even, but people don't want to listen to that.

It's hit me fairly hard today that I might not be able to find a market for my work. It's not the best feeling in the world, and I certainly didn't think that Disbelief was likely to let me down. Chances are it's not the fault of Disbelief, but the fault of myself in my method of representation.

Not sure how I can overcome this one, to be honest.

Blog - "The Annoyance Of Being Idle"

Greetings from the mad world of my internal monologue.

Since my entry on New Year's Day, I have intentionally been having what I have been told are 'days off'. Now, being a writer, I find myself relaxing by writing, so I habitually never stop working. I usually have one day off a year, and that's my birthday on July the seventh. This year, people have managed to convince me to spend the time between new years day and my two year anniversary on January the ninth doing nothing.

I'd just like to know if you have any idea how incredibly dull and boring it is to do nothing for days? Days! I haven't written a thing for over a week. That doesn't just feel strange, it feels downright wrong. It's like I've been genetically strangled and held for ransom by that part of me that actually seems to enjoy sleep and video games.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with sleep and video games. A Wii turned up in our household recently, much to my surprise, and I've been setting up the internet for the people I live with and going through all of the virtual console games that I want. It's a surprising amount, and is a stark reminder of how large a gamer that I used to be, but since becoming a writer I have found it something of a colossal waste of time. My thumbs are about as efficient as they could possibly be at this point, and sleep is all about recharging, right? I have this annoying habit of sleeping either four hours, and thus getting nothing out of it, or sleeping for thirteen hours, which is just enough to make the rest of the day useless. Over the last week, those two things are the two things that I've had to do. I miss writing.

So now, having exhausted the possibilities of FIFA and been utterly infuriated by good old Majora's Mask, and slept for more time than I've been awake, I've reached the point where I don't really want to do that anymore. I don't want to sleep, but I am aware that I'm eventually going to have to. I just want to write. Maybe this did do me some good. I'm back.

By Sunday I have two interviews to type up, hopefully one for each Monday to follow tomorrow, and I'm also writing up an in-depth review of a recent orchestral Tim Minchin show, which should turn up soon enough. I'm also re-writing a piece of Disbelief at this point in time, since I've decided to change one of the character relationships for the finale. It's kind of shaping up to be a fairly empty month, so I've also started planning out Theory In Practice. We should be good to go with that for when February rolls around.

I wouldn't want to not submit. I'd end up a lot less well enough, and likely struggling with the bills if that happened. You don't earn much freelance, after all.

Still, living the dream. I'm always grateful for that.

Blog - "Mental Streaming 2011"

A happy new year to you all. Welcome back to Mental-Streaming; a journey through the strange and often catastrophic mind of myself: Tom Colohue.

My plan for this year involves a lot of writing; it's true. It also involves a lot of gaming, drinking and having sex, but we all know that only the writing is guaranteed. I'm determined to have Disbelief published and on the bookshelves before this year is out. That's not all though: my Doctor Who novel, The Collapse Of Redmoor,  is slowly moving forwards as well, though it's hardly all that high on my list of priorities. Teraburst, my graphic novel, written and drawn with my dear friend Ricky, is also picking up pace. A couple of the conceptual character designs are now available, should anybody be interested.

Those are the novels, but, of course, that's far from the only thing going for me.

I'm working on a new music theory series for Ultimate-Guitar called 'Theory In Practice', which will be half theoretical explanation followed by a practical application to further the reader's understanding. In addition to that, the UG Story is still happily ongoing on its own little path, with my guest writers currently reaching their second installment of the four that they're working on, while I'm mostly done at this point.

Outside of Ultimate-Guitar, I'm also working on a series on Marketing Methods for DottedMusic, as well as other works directly relative to that website. Sam Agini has also invited me to do more collaborations with him, which I'm sorely tempted to take up.

These are the works that I have planned for now, though god knows how many other little pieces will occupy my time. I'm also considering giving Rock Stars a second run, as I'm quite happy with how that went, even if it was nowhere near as popular as Disbelief.

January 9th, only eight days away now, will mark my two year anniversary of being a professional writer. By this time next year, I will be published. That's my resolution, and I am nothing if not resolved.

Happy new year people. Welcome back.

Blog - "The Santa Myth"

I've had something of a question bounding around my mind for a while now, likely because of the fact that Christmas one and two has just passed us by. The question is a mix of religious and mythological concepts, and the potential philosophical implications that could be raised by it are enormous.

The question is this: Which came first, Santa or Jesus?

I'm guessing by now everybody is old enough to know that Santa Claus is a myth, and also an Americanisation of the English, or more European (and thus slightly prior) Father Christmas. You have a huge list of myths that fall backwards, including the Kris Kringle, the Chris Cringle (yes, they're different), the St Nicholas and so on and so forth.

I'm certainly curious in opinions, and spending months wandering across wikipedia looking for the answer is a confusing one. You see, the weird thing is that Father Christmas has never been particularly linked in to religious matters. Santa isn't a Christian that we know of. In fact, of all the major religions, he lives a life closest to that of a Buddhist, which is confusing in so many ways. So his life isn't necessarily linked to Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ, accepting the possibility that he might have actually existed (which I don't, and never will) lived nearly two thousand and eleven years ago. Does this mean that Father Christmas is that old too? That's pretty damned old. Even Jesus died. Admittedly he was killed, but considering the pure monetary networth of Santa Claus, I would mug the bastard.

Why do I think about this shit?

Blog - "Teenage Girl Fights"

This is a wonderful business, and yet cruel in its own right. You can spend years developing the contacts, the forward motion and the visual license to appeal, yet you never experience a rapport. You are everybody’s friend, and yet the friend of nobody in this business. Thankfully, I’ve adapted to suit the needs of the role quite happily.

Still, people in general are marvellously comical. That’s right, this is a gig drama story. Even better, this is a teenage gig drama story. Sound tasty? In many ways, indeed it is.

Today, I was reviewing a young, female interviewee. She has the cutesy thing going on, a voice to suit her style and chooses songs that are romantic, but subtle enough sexually to evade notice. Everything fits, nothing stand out. She quite obviously only started singing to satisfy her mother, who doesn’t seem to have noticed, but that’s another story. We’ll call this girl ‘singer’.

She has a female friend here that she has written songs for and about, which nicely labels said friend as the nervous type. We’ll call her ‘girlfriend’. She’s also a vegetarian, which adds to the overall arc. Here, at current, all is well.

However, then the male appendage of singer arrives, which is typically the turning point of a story. You know how these things go. It’s neither cruel nor unusual. In fact, in the teenage years, it’s downright common. We’ll call him, as you may have guessed already, ‘boyfriend’.

So, singer is dating boyfriend. Girlfriend, who is nervous and shy, has that particular glare that says ‘Get off my man, you bitch!’ You know the one. They never think that anybody notices, when everybody quite obviously does so. So, they go outside to ‘talk’. Again, you know the sort.

Singer, while singing, casts her eyes around for boyfriend and, when she can’t find him, gets pissed off and moves off of the stage to go and look for them. You know teens, they’re scared of things. Turns out she was right to though; there was blowjob action going on in the beer garden.

After that, it all kicked off and went a little crazy. Fun, you know. Drinks were thrown, food was thrown, hair was pulled and then thrown.

I miss the relaxed days when I went to these things for fun rather than for work. If that was the case though, I would miss the cash element and, more importantly, the feeling of importance.

Blog - "Evening Chill"

Hey readers. Welcome back to Mental-Streaming.

Well, we're in December now, and Winter has hit as though a switch has been flipped. We've gone from an evening chill to frozen paths and snowed-in schools. It's the time of year where the heating goes up, the fireplaces burn and everybody cuddles up in bed with that special somebody for warmth.

Admittedly, I'm single this year, but I do have a dog that loves me.

I always have something of a sense of nostalgia when the snow begins. I recall last year, encountering Stalker Katie in my preferred nightclub and having her try so hard to follow me home. I recall the year before, spent largely with girlie four wandering from place to place and criticising the food. I recall the year before that, when girlie three was forced out of her house and I committer my life and home to a rescue that would shape the rest of my life.

While Autumn seems to be my season for losing things that I want (jobs, girlfriends, keys), winter seems to be the season where things are thrown at me, whether I want them or not. Yet, to be honest, I do love Winter.

The cold is annoying, but it doesn't bother me all that much. The heating in my bedroom is dodgy, but I can easily sleep on the living room floor. New Years is a bit annoying and all, and Christmas itself is a bit of an annoyance when it comes to my particularly small and unaffectionate family, but the real highlight for me is Christmas Two.

I hold a second Christmas, personal invite only, on the twenty-seventh. It's a big thing for me, since receiving an invite basically means that I consider you as close to me as family, or as I believe family should be. You see, my family comprises three people in the grand total simply because we've always been so detached from the others. As such, all of those families on television or in stories ring false for me, even when I'm writing them. I'm more likely to write about a truly close and loving friend who feels like family that I am to create a stable and supportive family environment.

Christmas Two is fun though. It always makes up for how much I utterly despise new year's.

Short Story - "Home Advantage"

She was an Everton fan. I was a Liverpool fan. This is likely all the back story you need.

"Get off our pitch!" she shouted at me.

"Our boys never walk alone!" I yelled back, thinking myself clever.

I was young and full of bile and sperm. She was similarly charged, for her team.

We had a bad run that day, and what a shame.

We met again, by luck of the draw, the next month.

"Get off our pitch!" I shouted at her.

"Right after we kick your arses!" she yelled back - much more inventive than me as it turned out.

Down the pub afterwards, I got drunk, which helped me explain the finer points of why my team is so much better than hers. At the same time, she got drunk and that helped her explain the finer points of why her team is so much better than mine.

"But we beat you," I told her, which obviously made us better.

"Home advantage," she replied, but I was having none of that.

We went home and left our friends to argue, though our tongues still fought on the way home, in their own way. Our formations were tight, with excellent wing play and some smart tackling at the back.

"Three - one!" I shouted at some point during the night.

"Home advantage!" she shouted back.

I let her have that one.

It was another three months before we met again.

"Get off my pitch!" I shouted.

"My turf's always better, boy - wish your entire team was buried under it!" she shouted back. She was definitely more inventive than I was.

When half time came around, I called her up and asked: "Want to have a few minutes on the run from my centre forward?"

"At Anfield?" she said. "You'd get more arousal out of a chicken."

It's a shame Everton won that one, but I still love derby games.

Blog - "Retro Gaming Nostalgia"

There are a couple of people in the world that I literally can not imagine my life without. A few months ago, one of these people told me that he was taking me to see a film. I was okay with this, despite having no prior knowledge of the film in question. He told me it would be fantastic, and I chose to believe him. That film was Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, and he was right: it was utterly magnificent.

Alongside the film, they released a game that we’ve been playing over the last couple of weeks. It’s a simple enough game, and, beautifully, it puts me in mind of all those lovely little beat-em-ups I enjoyed so much as a kid.

Does anybody remember Double Dragon? Now there was simplicity at its best. One button punched, the other kicked and both together did a flying kick. All of this on a scrolling 2D landscape? Sounds like heaven to me. Yes, the film adaptation was little more than a joke, but you can’t really hold that against Double Dragon, can you?

Golden Axe was another one that I devoted a healthy chunk of my life to. I played the dwarf, with the axe and the lightning special attack. I don’t know why, especially not now, but he just seemed much tougher than the alternatives, and I wasn’t really into playing female characters at the time, since they were always built weaker. It seems to be an accepted paradigm that your female characters will always be weaker than the male ones. The fantasy elements of Golden Axe held quite the draw for me.

That was nothing though. No game held my complete devotion like Streets Of Rage. I still come back to it now, to take Axel everywhere from boat to skyscraper. I used to love throwing people from that outside elevator on level seven. I still do. My love affair for Streets Of Rage extended as far as the second game, but the robot with the extendable arms and old man face very much turns me off the third one.

Scott Pilgrim has that old Streets Of Rage magic, but with good old RPG style stat boosts and level ups. Everything from the soundtrack to throwing weapons takes me back to my childhood and, for a writer, that’s where all imagination lives. Even if it is a game of repetitively beating the crap out of anything and everything, that’s enough for me.

It’s anger management in its purest form, and I love it.

Blog - "Concussions"

Hey again,

It's rare that you can say 'i had a short day today', but you often hear people say 'i had a long day today'. I had one of those last night.

Fridays are fairly textbook for me. I volunteer to help out at a Youth Club, then certain members of the staff go out for drinks. Our regular closed down a fortnight ago, and I didn't attend last week, leaving this as being the first time we tried somewhere different instead. Other than a poor DJ, the pool was cheap. I ran into a few old friends, made a few new ones and convinced everybody I was a lot more drunk than I actually was because I hadn't had much to eat and I wasn't in the mood for heavy drinking. When it closed we spent half an hour in another pub, then went outside to go our separate ways.

It's at this point that the concussion happened. 

I'm a little sketchy on the details, due to the fact that I wasn't really paying attention just before it all went dark, but unconsciousness reigned for a while, so I'm told. I've never been a fan of A & E, but when you're instructed to go, you go, and you have to stay awake, without eating or drinking anything, until a Doctor has checked you out and officially found you fine.

Of course, upon getting home at about 5am, I found myself sleeping through for almost nineteen hours. When I woke up, it was dark again, but at least I woke up.

Other than that, not all that much to tell. Slow week.

Blog - "Quirks And Mirrors"

Good day cheerful readers who earn me a living. This, as usual, is Tom Colohue. Now...

I have a big interest in people. Not in an I-watch-crowds-of-homeless-people-pissing-in-alleys sort of way. Psychologically, I have a big interest in people. If I don't understand something then I tend to develop a big interest in it, since I hate it when I don't understand something. People are a prime example of this. I just don't get it.

People, in general, make a fair chunk of sense. When you have the option to generalise and make broad, sweeping and all encompassing statements you can basically pull whatever truths you want out of the air. That's not what interests me. What interests me is the tiny, often subtle and intricate nuances of individuals. The quirks - if you will. That's what truly separates people.

Have you ever stopped to look at somebody you know, just to experience the things that they do that nobody else does? Everybody has something, and more have plenty more than just one. Nevertheless, quirks and personality traits tend to operate in the peripheral vision. Most people just don't expect to see these things, so they don't. It's that expectant perspective thing again. Everybody has blind spots you see.

What about you then, dear reader? Do you know what your individual quirks are, because I'm sure you have plenty? Where did they come from? What do they say about you?

There's so much more to a person than just what's in the mirror.

Tom Colohue

Blog - "Belonging In Motion"

So, Tom Colohue's on a train again. Greetings from the nicely crowded train to Manchester Airport.

I feel certain that, at some point, we've all felt the urge to be anywhere but home. You can't put your finger on the exact reasons yet, but you're just feeling restless and in need of a break. You know what I mean; I'm sure. You just need to step out of your life for a little while. With this in mind, I've finally decided the following:

I absolutely love trains.

It might well be all of the excitement of Tommyfest so short a time ago, but my life has seemed quite droll lately. It can't help that the Ultimate-Guitar London mini-festival was last year - leaving me trying to hire a drumkit, on the day of the event, from the train down there. I didn't even realise how much I loved that until a time afterwards, but I did.

Even though, this time, there's no big event coming, I'm quite excited inside. I'm not trying to discuss my niece, or her parents here; I love them both to pieces, but the events that I manage give me an incredible rush of belonging that I've never received from my family. It feels like I'm going back to work, and I'm near ecstatic about it.

The farther I get from home, the better I feel. Even fighting a cold and being annoyingly single: this eclipses that. I need more festivals to work, and more interviews to do. I need to soak up the utter beauty of music events and spend my life as part of it all. My home is the train now, and I most certainly did not expect that.

I suppose it's all about belonging really. I've worked from home too long to like it, but the world at large is still a scary place. Do I belong here? Do I belong there? Maybe I belong somewhere I haven't even discovered yet? How would I know?

I suppose I'll be on the trains a while yet.

Tom Colohue

Song - "Spatial Turbulence"

{Crew}
Spatial turbulence impacting
on all of our minds.
Our memories are fighting to
Recall all that we left behind.

Intergalactic encounters
Across the galaxy.
Are coming here to welcome us
And let us all break free.

{Pilot}
There is no day or night.

There is no real light.

There's no solution
Just production
Of artificial life.

We are space invaders.

We defy the universe.

No Gods held wisdom
To assist us
So we took to flight.

{Captain}
The cold outside is welcoming.

False heat runs through our veins.

This dementia is restricting.

But at least I have the reins.

We fly beyond our systems.

Our pilot sets the course.

Tomorrow is a blessing.

As we search out for our true source.

{Crew}
God said no to us,
Halt evolution here.

Man said go to us,
We'll fly beyond the stratosphere.

God rejected us,
And left us all to die.

Man comforted us,
And gave us voice with which we could
Defy.

{Pilot}
There is no way to hide
We're trapped here like space rats.

We are assisting
In exiling
All that we have ever known.

Alternatives are fleeting
They fly by like the stars.

We are rejecting
All the systems
That our Gods designed.

{Crew}
God said no to us,
You can't continue here.

Your evil ways will be removed,
From the cosmos that I hold so dear.

To you who live in squalour,
Just let your lives go.

We defied him,
We refused him,
And we follow those we fear.

{Captain}
We're refugees with no hope.

False heat runs through our veins.

We have no seat of power.

No wealth of which to say.

We fly beyond our systems.

We follow those that led.

Tomorrow is a blessing.

But that may be for them instead.

{Pilot}
There is no day or night.

There is no real light.

There's no solution
Just production
Of artificial life.

We are space invaders.

We defy the universe.

We shall be masters
Of our creations
Mutinous but truly right.

{Crew}
Spatial turbulence impacting
on all of our minds.
Our memories are fighting to
Recall all that we left behind.

Intergalactic encounters
Across the galaxy.
Are coming here to welcome us
And let us all break free.

Blog - "My Star Line-Up"

Hello there.

I'd like to start off by saying that I am in no way patriotic. I am about as English as hating the French, but that's about it. That said though, I have, of late, gotten into football. Here's my views after today's match against Montenegro.

England 0 - 0 Montenegro

It's a sad state to be in when your returning captain has been entirely eclipsed by his Executive Officer, but such is the case tonight. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in Rio Ferdinand's abilities as a central defender, but you don't lead a team from central defense. You lead a team from the front, which was exactly what Steven Gerrard always tried to do. The man is a born leader, and every fan in the house has always responded to him beautifully. Nobody wanted Rio back. We were happy with Phil Jagielka covering our arses in central defense, we just wanted Rio to help him out. He has a big head. That's awesome.

I am yet to find anybody with something bad to say (performance-wise) about Ashley Cole. Let's not even start there. Though he seems to prefer a long ball game, I'm also quite happy with the way Glen Johnson has been performing. In fact, defensively, we're doing well. I saw Joe Hart playing in the friendly against Japan before the world cup, and he was just as stunning then as he is now.

It's at the midfield where we start to unravel for one simple reason. We're simply too good with box-to-box players in the middle. Gerrard is, quite obviously, a star. From his first goal to his latest, his goals come from nowhere through a sea of bodies. Personally, I would likely have him farther forward, and keep Frank Lampard back to hold the middle. I'd be much happier with an attacking midfielder to leave the pack than a defensive one like Gareth Barry. It just seems like a defensive move that's only weakening our attack and thus giving our opposition time to regroup.

Adam Johnson is awesome. He doesn't link up fantastically, and at times he's a little too hungry to fire one in, but as midfield strikers go, I'm incredibly impressed. Like Gerrard, he can fire it in through a crowd. Like Lampard, he can appear in the box with a kick of legend when nobody's even noticed him sneaking up. He just needs to put these things together. He plays the wing well. For the left side I'm not all that sure. Walcott seems to run out of steam a little too quickly. You know what? Let's go a little mad and line Johnson and Johnson opposite Ashley Cole and Joe Cole. Joe Cole isn't suited to playing right behind the attack because he needs a little room to manoeuvre, but he's a tricky little bastard when he wants to be.

In the attack, I'm unsure. With Gerrard supporting, and Cole and Johnson on the wing, I feel confident that they'll get plenty of chances, but I've never been that big a fan of Wayne Rooney to be completely honest. The name that springs to mind most is always going to be Michael Owen. You've all seen what he can do, even though age and injury might be having an affect now. I would like to see him back in action. I would.

Jermain Defoe has earned the other spot methinks. He needs the ball to be basically planted either at his feet or on his head in front of the goal, but when that happens it's going to go in, no questions asked.

That's who I'd pick. Just for the sake of it.

Blog - "In The Name Of Tim Burton"

Hello there kind readers,

So, I'm a fairly colossal Tim Burton fan. I find it quite confusing that Beetlejuice was performed by the same actor who starred as Batman, but that's part of the Burton majesty; nothing makes sense in his world unless you truly understand the genius.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is likely my favourite piece of work from him. I often recognise hints of Burton at work, and this includes the input of Danny Elfman's vocal and musical talents too. I think Elfman has a certain impact on my enjoyment as well. For example, in Batman Returns, I spotted Elfman's particular style before I even knew it was a Burton film, but from that I could work it out. Since he performed as the voice of Jack Skellington, though only while singing, I can claim him as the main reason I love the film so much. It's like The Rocky Horror Picture Show; the music never fails to please.

Let's take, for example, Burton's version of Sweeney Todd. Several months before I saw this, I saw Roy Winstone starring as the character in either a BBC or an ITV presentation of the same story, but with a much closer line of sympathy for the main character. I enjoyed it, but the story was very different. Afterwards, I watched the Burton version and loved it. Even though I know the songs were already scripted, the intensely Gothic design and cinematography allowed Johnny Depp to be entirely psychotic. It was beautiful.

I also liked the way they used colour in Corpse Bride. The world of the living was bland and monochrome. The world of the dead was a party and a half.

If I ever became a scriptwriter, I would likely follow in a very similar vein of madness and utterly inconsolable insanity. I do it anyway, so I think it would suit me.

I'd likely start with Murder: The Musical. I've been working on that for years.

Blog - "Projects Upcoming"

Hello there readers.

So I do a lot of stuff. Some I get paid for, some I don't. Despite all of this, my primary vocation remains that of a writer, so I thought I'd give a few quick updated on the writing tasks ahead of me.

As of right now, I am working on the following projects:

The Spirit Of Mercy; A new Fiction series for Ultimate-Guitar

All About Hugh; The second series of the UG Story for Ultimate-Guitar

Effects Of The Internet; Another couple of articles in my continuing new media series for DottedMusic

Marketing Methods; A fairly large series of articles focussed around marketing yourself as a musician in the current fast track world for DottedMusic and Ultimate-Guitar

TommyFest Interviews; For the interviewees, myself, Ultimate-Guitar, SplashNet Radio and FunkyMonkey Radio, as well as the TommyFest website.

That's all of the writing tasks that I have on the go at this very minute.

I'm also making a new list of publishers to send Disbelief to, since I have now exhausted all other options concerning it. It's a long and extremely arduous task, so if anybody wants to do any of that work for me, I would be grateful.

In fact, that would be awesome. :P

Always a pleasure,

Tom

Blog - "Evil In Batman Returns"

Hey people, Tom Colohue here.

One thing that I've realised recently is that you can effectively write an essay on just about anything, so, today, I'm going to examine a pet peeve using the conduit of Batman Returns. The pet peeve, by the way, is mostly to do with myself, as a writer, and how I feel things could be done differently and, potentially, better. I'm probably wrong here, but I do like to make my points.

So, the discussion topic, other than Batman Returns, is The Portrayal Of Evil In The Media.

Let's start with the old Batman series. You know the one; zap, pow, shazam etc. In that series, the 'evil' was practically slapstick. The progression of the original Batman film seres (from 'Batman' to 'Batman and Robin') moves slowly down this route.

The original Batman film had the iconic evil of The Joker, brilliantly played by Jack Nicholson. Now, there, we had a real evil in action. He had true malicious intent, and the true urge to create utter carnage. By Batman and Robin, past the travesty that was Two-Face and The Riddler, we ended up with Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze. Evil? Yeah, right.

The Joker, as he was also shown in the more recent film The Dark Knight, was dominating, cerebral and psychopathic. Even as a mere observer, you felt that you were being mentally dragged through a rough and aggressive selection of challenges. In many ways, the original Batman film was a little too dark. The last scenes certainly gave me many chills.

In my opinion, Batman Returns actually got it right. Even though the Bruce Wayne character was somewhat undernourished in the second of the four films, the three evils were spread out and, even when they did work together, they had obvious motives of their own. Max Shrek had the typical greed of the megalomaniac, Catwoman was envious of the success all around her, and eager to create a little anarchy for the sake of it. The Penguin literally hated everything purely because everything hated him first. They all came together briefly, but it all broke down very quickly. While The Joker was quite easily, as I see it, the best and most evil of the crowd, but it was everything coming together in Batman Returns that makes it work for me.

So that's what I've been thinking of recently. I could write more, but this is only a blog after all.

Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Fiction - "Happy To Hold On"

Hey all.

Today, myself and my writers group are starting a short story series to run over the next four days, concluded by yours truly.

It's called Happy To Hold On.

Please check it out. Click on the link to get taken to the first part.

The second part is now available from the following location: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/columns/fiction/happy_to_hold_on_shoes.htm

Thanks in advance.

Blog - "TommyFest"

So, lately things have been a little mad.

My normal, everyday office job picked up to the point where I worked Monday, Monday night, Tuesday, Tuesday night, Wednesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Friday night last week. Add in the writing I generall do over a weekend and you've got yourself a busy schedule right there, but at the end of last month, we had TommyFest.

TommyFest is the local music festival that I got involved in working the angle of international promotions. It was a years worth of work, all building up a head of steam to culminate in the bank holiday weekend of August. It's why I didn't really post much that month, for which I apologise.

I went along as a representative of Ultimate-Guitar in addition to the role I took in the committee, and let me tell you, it was one of the most singularly awesome experiences that I have ever witnessed. The music, the people, the poker games in the chill-out tent: everything.

The following weekend was literally tame because of it.

I'm currently going through the pictures that my photographer took, preparing for the interviews I intend to give and for the wrap up news post. So, if you know any of the following acts, or are just interested in what I intend to ask them, please keep an eye out.

-Steph Fraser
-Alex Hulme
-Escape Artists UK
-Fatt Tuesday
-Steph Ashcroft
-The Underachievers
-Cat Lowman
-Girl Peculiar

More as it develops, and maybe some exclusive pictures, just for my readers.